From the Desk Of
by EdwardClone13
Summary: If we are afraid of the possibilities of what may happen on one of his quests, then we are petrified with what may happen if we keep him from leaving.


From the Desk of-

For the person who is reading these musings, I must ask that if you continue to read past these first lines, please have patience. My mind is jumbled right now and I have heard from a credible source that writing things down helps you straighten things out and I am in need of a clear mind. I must also say that this does not pertain to actual events, but to reasonings, with the facts, opinions, and states of mind behind them.

I cannot say for certain when exactly I grew to love such things, when it became an addiction. If I have to guess a time, it would most likely have started developing during the first Kid heists that I had gone to. But, really, it isn't anything too horrible. I know for a fact that there are much worse things to be addicted to than adrenaline, and while it could lead to some problems later in life, it is one of the best things that had happened to me so far.

There are only three people in the world who know of my addiction. I am obviously one of the three, and the other two only know because they too suffer from it. This was the bond that had originally brought us three together, one from the legal side of the law, one from the opposite side, and the one who walked the fine line between obeying and breaking the law. It was actually quite humorous to contemplate, that three people, raised in such different households, could all grow to love the hum of adrenaline as it sung deliciously through our veins.

If you asked someone, almost anyone, really, outside our little ring whether such a thing could exist in any of us, they would easily say, with little to no hesitation, that he or she could only see the one bathed in the moon's silver having such a thing. He was the one the public knew took crazy risks, pulled daring deeds, and performed amazing feats that would easily cause that heady buzz to appear. If you went up to someone who knew us all very well, they would say the mediator as well, maybe, but never I. That proves that they don't know me as well as they think.

I don't try to keep my addiction a secret; it's just that no one has ever asked the right question the right way. People have asked me why I am still in Japan, I tell them I have unfinished business here. When asked how I feel about being called one of the few experts on how to catch the Kaitou Kid, I reply with, "As W. Clement Stone once said, 'Try, try, try, and keep on trying is the rule that must be followed to become an expert in anything.' I have simply not given up on arresting Kid, and I have no intention of ever giving up. He will be captured."

But the most frequent question I am asked always has been, and most likely will be, "Why do you continue to chase the Kid?" That is the only question I half-lie about. I always answer, "Because he breaks the laws society has created to function, and must pay for this crime." This is the answer I use to please the public.

The real answer is that I need the challenge. I need the adrenaline rush that comes with hunting down that clever, sneaky bastard of a criminal who can butt heads with me while thinking at the same intelligence level. He may act immature outside of his night job, but behind that curtain of messy brown hair lies a cunning mind that thrives in difficult situations.

Speaking of him, I feel obligated to shed some light onto my two companions' stories as well before continuing with my own. I do not wish for there to be any confusion later on. I try to be nothing but a gentleman, regardless of what anyone else says.

I believe our conniving criminal, the infamous Kuroba Kaito, first noticed his love of adrenaline after he realized he was tormenting his childhood friend into chasing him to get that 'buzz' his father was always talking about. It started off not so much an addiction than a connection between father and son for him. Do you not understand why he wanted to feel it for himself? I shall explain in a simple mathematical term:

If A=B and B=C, then A=C.

A is Kuroba Kaito.

B is Father.

C is Adrenaline Rush.

The = is love.

Please solve.

As I was saying, when his father died, young Kuroba was in such a state that he needed something, anything, to feel like his father was still there. First, he latched onto magic. Magic is something that requires talent and –dare I admit– skill to perform. And as he learned more magic and used it in the presence of others, Kuroba became acquainted with a meager amount, a mere shadow, really, of that feeling his father had always described. Soon, he came to depend on that rush that makes you feel like you're on top of the world, that you're invincible. But he still never felt it in the way his father always seemed to, and Kuroba had almost given up hope of being close to his father, in that sense, when he stumbled upon a hidden room.

And thus, the second generation of Kaitou 1412, known internationally as Kaitou Kid after one of Kid's adversaries fiddled with the name in a fit of boredom, was born. I assume you are familiar with his exploits, so I do not feel the need to waste time and paper going on and on about them. Just realize that he now felt what his father had felt and told him all about, and he wasn't giving it up any time soon. A need to be closer to someone who had left the world of the living soon became an addiction strong enough to drive a young boy to commit crime to slate its thirst. … That sounds like something one would read in a dime-store mystery novel. I find some humor in that statement and shall end the brief retelling of Kuroba Kaito with it.

I do not know where to begin with my final companion. ..Yes I do. He was the one who made the connections, pieced everything together, and hunted down Kuroba and I. He managed to spell everything out for us, got us to spill our secrets at his feet, and yet, somehow, only told the minor details about himself. Kuroba and I both feel deep suspicion over this secrecy, but have had yet to confront him. Kuroba knows him far better than I, having spent much more time together than I had realized, and does not wish to upset him. I have, for the moment, kept my silence. I do not wish to disturb the harmony, the bond that is as strange as it is new, that ties us together.

What I can tell of the third of our group is that he has grown bored with the world at large. I do not know when it occurred, but I do understand his reasoning, for it almost matches Kuroba's and my own. Due to the way our minds function, and this is not a statement of belittlement for the rest of the population, we go beyond what the average person thinks, so what is stimulating for them may be mere child's play to us. And while Kuroba and I found ways to entertain ourselves and our addictions earlier in our lives, he had nothing. He had to do things a certain way for much of his life, due to necessity, especially during these later years, and just now has the freedom to find the finer things in life. I would say he found his first real adrenaline spike at the age of 15, before he met Kuroba or I, and it built on as he took more risks and invited more dangers. His life drastically changed less than a year later. Then, suddenly, he had that rush going for nearly all hours of the day, every day of the week for an extended period of time.

That incident led him to become worse than I, or even Kuroba.

Even now, when not on a Kid heist, some form of case, or spending fiery, passion-filled nights with Kuroba and myself, he is off trying new, near deadly things, inviting danger to take him away forever. This frightens me, and is what led me to writing this… documentation in the first place. I believe it may frighten Kuroba even more, for when our third partner finally returns, mostly bruised and battered, with a new scar here or there, but looking more alive than when he left, while I only patch him up and hold him close and keep him in my sight as long as possible, Kuroba keeps a constant hand on our wanderer's pulse.

Even if it frightens us and worries us and makes us wish he was never like us, that he was just a normal, average human, we never stop him. He is further gone than we are, sucked in far enough that his addiction is now an almost physical _need_, and if we are afraid for the possibilities of what may happen on one of his quests, then we are petrified with what may happen if we _keep him from leaving._

…

I must halt in my deliberations. My phone is ringing; the ring tone says that it's Kuroba. I shall continue at a later date, hopefully with more news and revelations on our current situation. I bid thee adieu.


End file.
